Time recently summarized a reading comprehension entry from New York’s eighth grade standardized test that is beyond all comprehension. It sounds more like one of those “a pineapple walks into a bar” jokes than a multiple-choice test entry: a talking pineapple challenges a hare to a race, and the other animals bet that the pineapple will win because he wouldn’t have challenged if he didn’t have some trick up his sleeve to win. When the pineapple loses because (shocker) he didn’t move, the animals eat him.
The test writers then go on to ask these poor 13-year-olds crazy questions like “which animal made the wisest comments?” and, my personal favorite, “why did the animals eat the pineapple?” And remember, this wasn’t an essay test; this was a multiple-choice, yes-Virginia-there-is-a-right-answer test. Good luck with that!
Does this situation remind anyone of some of the questions you receive from business partners? The questions we receive can range from the uber-specific (and un-important) color preferences for billing envelopes to the unanswerable, let me break out my crystal ball to identify the next fashion trend before it happens.
The good news is, unlike these stumped eighth graders, we can re-scope our business partners’ questions to make sure that answers will actually inform strategy. We have a few ways to go:
- Identify true unknowns: conduct analysis to understand what your business lines know and what they really need to know in order to succeed. Johnson & Johnson actually puts together an information inventory to before setting its research agenda.
- Make existing information usable: with all of the existing data at most companies many questions asked can be answered without new work. You just have to make sure that this foundational knowledge is accessible.
- Just say “NO”: sometimes ad hoc requests of low value are not even worthy of re-scoping. Have a very specific process for vetting project requests, and if the question doesn’t merit investment let your business partner know.
We would love to know: what is the craziest research request you’ve ever received? Please share in the comments section below.

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